We’re getting ready to go on a road trip. Less than two weeks to go now, and we’re already stressed to the ends of our hairs, to the tips of our fingers and our toes, to the tingling end, respectively, of our very last nerve.
I’ve written here about other trips in the past that got messed up, and last November our trip to Yosemite was completely cancelled because of illness, so that may be part of the reason for our current state of consternation, but this has always been a typical lead-up to any trip, any vacation. We are creatures of routine and anxiety in this household. I have memories of nights before more than one road trip when one of our stressed kids (not naming any names here) would say, “I don’t want to go. Let’s just stay home.” We’d have to coax and cajole, and he’d argue and squirm but eventually give in– I mean, when he was little he couldn’t not go, but we wanted him to want to go. If I’m remembering correctly, which is always debatable, this has happened more times than it has not happened. I don’t think Brian and I ever got meaner or stricter or unhappier (we’re already pretty mean and unhappy) in the lead up to a road trip; but the air in the house would be buzzing and crackling just because we were all thinking of being unmoored from homebase, unmoored from our routine, unmoored from everything we knew, and shot off into the dark and deep and wide abyss of the grand and mysterious world. Without the comfort of our cats. It was too much for some of us. But once we all walked out the front door and jumped into the van and drove away, though, we’d be fine. All of us.
Travel is stressful– in a good way, it makes your brain grow and your perspective shift– but it’s still stressful. And so I think we’re anticipating that. But we are also feeling things at home going a little sideways, making us have second thoughts because things are even more tense. Car issues that pop up: one car is in the shop being inspected– what will they FIND? We have old cars, so we always hold our breath with inspections. We are driving our new but really, really old van far, FAR, from home– will it MAKE it? there AND back? The weather is changing, and we wake up with stuffy noses and sore throats– what is this EVIL pestilence? And there is the to-do list of every day living and working that thinking about going on vacation just makes worse. I think it’s more that our brains are going sideways than the actual reality of things– like we’re looking for trouble.
This is a climbing trip, mostly, for Brian and I– I mean, it’s Hueco Tanks, duh. We are driving out early, and the boys are joining us– flying– later for five days. They will probably climb– I mean, it’s Hueco Tanks, duh. We take our playtime seriously in this family. But this trip is also to get away to a place we love, that is warmer and sunnier than Pittsburgh, and we will celebrate Thanksgiving just us four and some desert bunnies and lizards.
I guess we’ll see if we all end up walking out the door, crossing the threshold to take the leap of faith that is leaving for a distant land in all the swirl of stress and big feelings of wishing we could stay inside where it’s predictable and watch TV. Right now that IF feels BIG.
So stay tuned…
